FIC: Tortured Part 2/?
Jun. 14th, 2005 03:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aricadavidson**************************
Tortured
Part 2
by KaraB
**************************
Fandom: Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
Rating: T [contains content not suitable for children under 13]
Summary: The SVU squad works on solving a case and one of their own becomes a target. Cliché summary, but not the target you think.
Warnings: Mucho angst
**************************
“What the hell happened?” Cragen asked, surveying the scene… the beat up car with the broken windows, the cell phone Munch had dropped, the drops of blood on the ground.
“Don’t know Captain,” Fin said, looking concerned and annoyed at the same time. “Munch called me telling me the guy behind this had contacted him. I was going to meet him here before he went in, to the warehouse I presume. We’ve having CSU go over the area. If they find anything, I’ll be the first to know.”
“Good. Have you got anything else?”
“I could hear some voices in the background. Damn, I wish I had the call recorded.” The frustration echoed in his voice.
“Focusing on what we don’t have is a dead end,” Cragen reminded him. “This guy wants our attention.”
“He wants to taunt us. He’s playing games,” Fin added.
“And now he’s got more ammo to hit us with,” Cragen summarized.
“Not for long. Not if I have anything to say about it.”
“We’ve got every available person on the case,” Cragen said. “And the 2-7 has offered us some help as well.”
“Well that’s something, but we’ve got next to nothing on this guy.”
“Hopefully he screwed up and left something behind.” Cragen looked at Fin. “Elliot and Olivia should be here in a few minutes.”
“I’m fine Captain,” Fin said. “But thanks for the concern.”
**************************
A full day passed with no results, no progress, no clues. No one in the precinct would go home, not until they were all safe. They knew what this guy was capable of, knew that he could and would kill.
Every moment that passed was one less that Munch might have left if this guy followed his pattern. And there was also another kidnapping fitting his M.O., so it appeared that he had also had a woman abducted at about the same time. Everyone in the precinct was completely business, focusing full attention on their part of the investigation, running down every viable lead that became available, as well as some others from less than perfect sources.
“Alright people,” Cragen finally said. “We can’t have much time left to figure this out. What have we got?” He was hoping to run over the facts again, to find something, anything that had been missed.
“We got nothing Captain,” Fin said, the frustration in his tone obvious.
“We have to have something. What do we know about this guy?”
“He enjoys having power over his victims. And even more he enjoys watching the investigation fail to catch him. It fulfills his need to prove that he’s better than those around him. He’s cold-blooded and amoral, and most definitely does not want to get caught,” Huang offered. “He’s not going to make this easy, but there is a method to his madness. There is a pattern to be found.”
“But how do we find that pattern?” Elliot asked.
“I can’t tell you that,” Huang said. “But the pattern is there. The ability to predict and find him is there.”
“That really helps us find Munch a lot,” Fin snarked.
“But why Munch?” Olivia said. “Why not any one of us?”
“Opportunity?” Fin asked.
“Possibly,” Huang conceded. “Or revenge. Maybe someone from one of his past cases. Or simply the fact that he’s the primary on the case and this will represent to the perp an ultimate failure to catch him.
“Alright,” Cragen said out loud, thinking through the possibilities. “We’ve got no evidence that appears to be pointing toward any direction. “Elliot, Olivia, go over the evidence again and check to see that there’s nothing we overlooked the first time through. I’m going to get on the phone with Baltimore and see if I can find any old cases that might have some bearing on this. Fin, you can help me go through them.”
“Captain…” Fin said, starting to object.
“That’s where we need to focus,” Cragan said firmly. “It’s our best lead for now.”
“Not anymore,” a voice said as the person stepped into the precinct. “We’ve got you a fingerprint.”
“Whose?” Fin demanded.
“Jason Sharpe, recent parolee.”
Fin stood. “I’m gonna bring him in.”
Before Fin could say anymore, Cragen assigned a couple other detectives to help him and he quickly left to check out Sharpe’s apartment.
**************************
“Wakey wakey, Detective,” a voice spoke through a haze. “You didn’t follow the rules.”
Focus. he thought to himself, trying to force himself to open his eyes. His head was pounding and he knew he’d have that headache a while.
“You didn’t follow the rules, Detective. And there are consequences for that,” the voice continued.
**************************
Tortured
Part 2
by KaraB
**************************
Fandom: Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
Rating: T [contains content not suitable for children under 13]
Summary: The SVU squad works on solving a case and one of their own becomes a target. Cliché summary, but not the target you think.
Warnings: Mucho angst
**************************
“What the hell happened?” Cragen asked, surveying the scene… the beat up car with the broken windows, the cell phone Munch had dropped, the drops of blood on the ground.
“Don’t know Captain,” Fin said, looking concerned and annoyed at the same time. “Munch called me telling me the guy behind this had contacted him. I was going to meet him here before he went in, to the warehouse I presume. We’ve having CSU go over the area. If they find anything, I’ll be the first to know.”
“Good. Have you got anything else?”
“I could hear some voices in the background. Damn, I wish I had the call recorded.” The frustration echoed in his voice.
“Focusing on what we don’t have is a dead end,” Cragen reminded him. “This guy wants our attention.”
“He wants to taunt us. He’s playing games,” Fin added.
“And now he’s got more ammo to hit us with,” Cragen summarized.
“Not for long. Not if I have anything to say about it.”
“We’ve got every available person on the case,” Cragen said. “And the 2-7 has offered us some help as well.”
“Well that’s something, but we’ve got next to nothing on this guy.”
“Hopefully he screwed up and left something behind.” Cragen looked at Fin. “Elliot and Olivia should be here in a few minutes.”
“I’m fine Captain,” Fin said. “But thanks for the concern.”
**************************
A full day passed with no results, no progress, no clues. No one in the precinct would go home, not until they were all safe. They knew what this guy was capable of, knew that he could and would kill.
Every moment that passed was one less that Munch might have left if this guy followed his pattern. And there was also another kidnapping fitting his M.O., so it appeared that he had also had a woman abducted at about the same time. Everyone in the precinct was completely business, focusing full attention on their part of the investigation, running down every viable lead that became available, as well as some others from less than perfect sources.
“Alright people,” Cragen finally said. “We can’t have much time left to figure this out. What have we got?” He was hoping to run over the facts again, to find something, anything that had been missed.
“We got nothing Captain,” Fin said, the frustration in his tone obvious.
“We have to have something. What do we know about this guy?”
“He enjoys having power over his victims. And even more he enjoys watching the investigation fail to catch him. It fulfills his need to prove that he’s better than those around him. He’s cold-blooded and amoral, and most definitely does not want to get caught,” Huang offered. “He’s not going to make this easy, but there is a method to his madness. There is a pattern to be found.”
“But how do we find that pattern?” Elliot asked.
“I can’t tell you that,” Huang said. “But the pattern is there. The ability to predict and find him is there.”
“That really helps us find Munch a lot,” Fin snarked.
“But why Munch?” Olivia said. “Why not any one of us?”
“Opportunity?” Fin asked.
“Possibly,” Huang conceded. “Or revenge. Maybe someone from one of his past cases. Or simply the fact that he’s the primary on the case and this will represent to the perp an ultimate failure to catch him.
“Alright,” Cragen said out loud, thinking through the possibilities. “We’ve got no evidence that appears to be pointing toward any direction. “Elliot, Olivia, go over the evidence again and check to see that there’s nothing we overlooked the first time through. I’m going to get on the phone with Baltimore and see if I can find any old cases that might have some bearing on this. Fin, you can help me go through them.”
“Captain…” Fin said, starting to object.
“That’s where we need to focus,” Cragan said firmly. “It’s our best lead for now.”
“Not anymore,” a voice said as the person stepped into the precinct. “We’ve got you a fingerprint.”
“Whose?” Fin demanded.
“Jason Sharpe, recent parolee.”
Fin stood. “I’m gonna bring him in.”
Before Fin could say anymore, Cragen assigned a couple other detectives to help him and he quickly left to check out Sharpe’s apartment.
**************************
“Wakey wakey, Detective,” a voice spoke through a haze. “You didn’t follow the rules.”
Focus. he thought to himself, trying to force himself to open his eyes. His head was pounding and he knew he’d have that headache a while.
“You didn’t follow the rules, Detective. And there are consequences for that,” the voice continued.
**************************
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no subject
Date: 2005-06-14 09:10 pm (UTC)a short, friendly critique
Date: 2005-06-15 02:57 am (UTC)The dialogue seemed a little too frozen though - like those old egyptian statues where it seems like the person had their hands clenched at their sides. I took a class on writing last semester and they had a name for those little words at the end of dialogue - the 'he said' or 'she exclaimed'- maybe 'attributives?' Anyway, I'm told that it's best to use those only to show an unusual juxtaposition ("I'm not upset," she said angrily.), create a pause("Where," he asked,"did you put the money?"), or if it is really unclear who is talking. you can use an action or, as you did later, drop it all together.It makes dialogue flow more naturally. For instance, you could say in the second paragraph: '"Don't know, Captain." Fin looked concerned and annoyed at the same time.' I think it was when Cragen 'summarized' that it felt too 'created.' Otherwise, what characters said and how they responded to situations is right on target.
I like your story a lot. I never was any good at fanfic. i just can't do justice to the characters (no pun intended there. really!) Post chapter 3 soon! Munch is my favorite character; I gotta know what happens! (and I'm relieved that it isn't olivia who is the focus of a perp's evil intents.)
Re: a short, friendly critique
Date: 2005-06-15 02:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-16 04:22 am (UTC)