aricadavidson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
aricadavidson) wrote2007-07-31 04:46 pm
aricadavidson) wrote2007-07-31 04:46 pm
Entry tags:
FIC: Angel Boy
Let me preface this fic by saying a couple of things. It IS NOT totally complete. It's complete enough in the sense that the general storyline is represented and it can be followed. It is NOT complete in the sense that it doesn't have all the scenes I want it to have. But given that I won't ever "finish" it, and that it's complete enough to post, and that it likely won't have an audience, I thought I'd take the risk. So, please, don't come back and fuss because scenes are missing or that I didn't develop something completely -- I KNOW that.
But the fic is as far as I know, a one of a kind crossover, so, here you go... if you're interested.
angel boy
by Kara B.
Date: 2001
An EFC/Touched By An Angel Story
Rating: PG/PG-13
Archival: TftSA, All others ask before using!
Spoilers: Limbo
Disclaimer: You know the drill. The characters in this story DO NOT belong to me. They belong to whoever owns them -- I'm just borrowing. I DO NOT make any money off this. I do this strictly for fun and personal enjoyment. I promise to return the characters (relatively) unharmed. For the record, I'm just a college student and have absolutely NO money at all so please don't sue me.
***********************
My mother said there’s only one way
Sweet angel boy narrow and straight
Time it has passed teachings they fade
Now her angel boy has gone astray
I’ve held the hand of the devil
Felt his breath on my skin
Dip me into the water wash me again
Can I still be forgiven for all these things
Or have I gone too far now
Have I lost my wings?
I found a priest I spoke my mind
Asked if I’d sinned one too many times
He said my son you’re only a man
Then I said sir you don’t understand
I’ve held the hand of the devil
Felt his breath on my skin
Dip me into the water wash me again
Can I still be forgiven for all these things
Or have I gone too far now
Have I lost my wings?
God help us all for what we have done
We’ve lost our way we can’t find the Son
We make our beds we seal our fate
Is there still time or is it too late
We’ve held the hand of the devil
Felt his breath on our skin
Dip us into the water, wash us again
Can he still be forgiven for all of these things
Or have we gone too far now
Have we lost our wings
Have we lost our wings?
Angel Boy
Tim McGraw
(album Set This Circus Down)
***********************
A Prayer for Spiritual Cleansing
Psalm 51: 1-14
Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.
Behold I was shapen in iniquity: and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
Create me in a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from thy presence and take not thy holy spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
Then will I teach transgressors they ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
Sandoval stalked out of an interrogation room, unknowingly watched by two other beings.
“He doesn’t seem too happy, Tess.”
“Well, Miss Wings, when you take no joy in life, and you don’t know the Father, then life itself can be a pretty miserable existence.”
“The poor man . . .” Monica started, then curiously asked, “What’s in there Tess?”
“Because of his own state of misery, he takes pleasure in inflicting it on others . . .” Tess said, disapproval clouding her voice. As if on cue, two Volunteers dragged a half-conscious man from the room.
Monica gasped, wincing in sympathy at the man’s obvious pain. “Who is he?”
“That’s Joshua Doors.” Tess said.
“Is he my assignment? Is he the one I’m supposed to help?”
“No Miss Wings, God already has him taken care of. Your assignment is Agent Sandoval.”
Monica looked at Tess in disbelief, “But Tess . . . how can I help a man like that? He seems . . . unreachable.”
“Now wait just a minute. You know that no one is beyond the Father’s help.”
“Does he have any family?” Monica asked curiously.
“No,” Tess paused, “None that he knows of anyway,”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Miss Wings, you’re about to ‘volunteer’ to find out.”
“What will you be doing Tess?”
“Going for a walk.”
***********************
Joshua moaned as he sat up. He wanted out of this B how didn’t matter to him anymore. Sandoval was merciless. Joshua had begged him . . . was disgusted with himself for doing so . . but had begged Sandoval to ease up . . kill him . .stop . . . But all that Sandoval would do was to look at him with total disdain.
Once, when Sandoval had released him, and he’d collapsed on the floor, Sandoval had leaned over to pull him to his feet. Joshua had grabbed his arm, and said hoarsely, “Please. What do you want from me?”
Sandoval had merely shaken off his hand, not even looking at it, or him. Then he turned on his heel and left, motioning the Volunteers to return him to his cell where Joshua fell into a, for once, dreamless sleep, undisturbed by the nightmares of pain, or the peacefully misleading dreams of hope and freedom . . .
The dreams of escape were the worst. More than once he had awoken, thinking he was back at home, only to find that he wasn’t.
And in a cruel twist, the cell Sandoval had placed him in afforded a magnificent view of Earth. Joshua had no doubt that it was intentional -- one of the many ways to torture the prisoners -- make them lose hope. So close, but so far away . . .
***********************
Liam Kincaid walked through the park. He found it calmed him, especially after a long day. Sandoval had been on his case all day long for some reason. It hurt Liam’s feelings to be angry with his father for being the way he was but neither could he excuse it. And he was only fooling himself if he tried to believe that Sandoval would change if he knew the truth. Part of him wanted to just go ahead and tell him . . . wondering what he’d say. Another part dreaded it, knowing that after that nothing could ever be the same again.
Liam leaned back on a bench, and watched the sunset.
“Beautiful isn’t it?” a voice asked.
Liam turned to find that a woman had taken the seat next to him on the bench. “Yeah, it is.”
“I always enjoy taking a walk through the park to enjoy the sunset. It’s very relaxing after a long hard day. Do you do this often, Major Kincaid?”
“When I get the chance. Today’s been especially rough.” He gave her an odd look, “Do you work at the embassy? How did you know who I am?”
The woman smiled, “My name is Tess. I was just recently hired to watch over and take care of the gardens here. And as for who you are, just about everyone knows who Da’an’s protector is.”
***********************
Joshua woke up in his Taelon cell and the first thing he saw, or thought he saw anyway, was a glowing man. He jerked up to a sitting position.
“Don’t be afraid.” the man said, “I’m not here to hurt you.”
“Who are you?” Joshua asked, wondering what kind of Taelon trick this could be.
“This isn’t a trick and I know this is going to be hard for you to believe. My name is Andrew and I’m an angel, sent by God.”
Joshua just gaped at him, finally muttering, “I must be going crazy . . .”
“You aren’t.” Andrew tried to assure him, “This is real.” He looked slightly puzzled, “Why can’t you believe?”
“Well, for one thing, I’ve spent the last few weeks in Sandoval’s private hell. So why now? Why not weeks ago?”
“God does things in His own time and He has His own reasons for them. I don’t even know why I’m here. I do know that He directed me to be here.”
“So you’re saying that I was meant to spend the last few weeks getting the crap kicked out of me, because God wanted that to happen? What kind of God would do that?”
Andrew sighed, “You have no idea how often I’ve had someone ask that B if God is good, why do bad things happen. The fact of the matter is that God gave man free will and men don’t always make the choices God would want them too. I don’t know what God’s plans for you are. If you want to know -- ask Him. I can’t guarantee you’ll get the answer you want or even an answer, but he’s the only one qualified to give it. The one thing I do know is that God didn’t do this to you. He loves you.” Andrew paused, “I know that isn’t the answer you wanted, but that’s all I can give.”
“Okay,” Joshua said, “Let’s suppose I do believe you. Why are you here? Are you here to get me out?”
“For now, I’m here to stay with you. I can’t get you out.”
“Why not? If you’re really an angel . . .” Joshua trailed off.
Andrew said softly, “It doesn’t work like that. God has a plan.”
Joshua glared at him, “You say God loves me, but why am I still here? You do know that eventually the Taelons are going to kill me, don’t you? And to be perfectly honest, I don’t really want to die. It doesn’t strike me as a very pleasant experience.”
“It’s not as bad as you think, if you’ve accepted Him.”
“And if I haven’t?” Joshua challenged.
“Then dying is the least of your worries.”
“Great.”
“Trust Him.”
“I don’t know if I can.” Joshua made a point of laying back and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep.
Andrew sighed and sat back, his essence hurting for the lost man before him, but content to do as the Lord had commanded.
***********************
Sandoval entered his office where the new volunteer was waiting. He personally chose a few volunteers to work strictly with him, ones he felt could be trusted. It was the most dangerous job for a Volunteer to get -- cross Sandoval once and you were dead or at least you’d wish you were. However, it could also be very rewarding. Sandoval afforded his volunteers a great deal of power and authority to use that power.
When he got to his office he found the Volunteer walking around, inspecting his office. Good -- most volunteer leaders would have had a fit but Sandoval liked curious ones -- they were good at asking questions without seeming to be spies.
He cleared his throat and the woman jumped.
“Hello Agent Sandoval.” she said in an Irish accent that reminded him of Beckett. He noticed that though he had startled her, her voice sounded cheerful and her demeanor -- unafraid. That was good too.
He didn’t bother with pleasantries, “If you’re going to work with me . . .” Sandoval trailed off, not knowing her name.
“Monica.” she supplied.
“Monica,” he repeated, “Then you’ll have to learn to listen well and keep secrets. I don’t have problems -- if you become one, you’ll be eliminated.” Let’s see how she handled that one.
“Oh, I’m very good at listening and keeping secrets. And I won’t be a problem at all.” she said sweetly.
Sandoval frowned. She had no idea what she was getting into. She was too naive. But she’d learn . . . or die. He could live with it either way. “Come on. I’ll show you where you’ll be working.”
She smiled and followed. No, she had no clue.
***********************
After showing her around the embassy, Sandoval flew her up to the mothership to show her around there . . . On the way, while another Volunteer piloted, she tried to strike up a conversation. “So, Agent Sandoval, have you got any family?”
He was vaguely surprised. Not many people had ever taken a personal interest in him. Not many dared . . .
“No.” he said. A short reply, not inviting further conversation, but surprisingly it came.
“Family is very important . . . What about your parents?”
Suddenly, his CVI took over, bringing a memory to the forefront of his mind . . . a memory from when he was only four years old.
He had been so very quiet about it, thought he was being pretty clever. Had snuck so quietly into the room . . . he reached in and . . .
“What are you doing Ron?” asked his mother.
His mother always knew when he was doing something he shouldn’t. This time she wasn’t angry, merely amused. He pulled the cookie out of the cookie jar, thinking for how to explain this . . . “I was getting a cookie for you . . .” He held it out.
She graced him with a smile, “Well, I don’t really want one, Ronnie.” she ruffled his hair.
He looked up at her with puppy dog eyes, “Then can I have it mommy?” He quickly took a bite.
His mother scooped him up, laughing, “Ron! I love you so much, my little angel boy.”
Sandoval reveled in the warmth of her hug.
“Agent Sandoval? Are you alright?” He was jolted back to reality by Monica’s voice.
“I’m fine.” he said curtly. His global beeped as they landed on the mothership and he excused himself, knowing what it was, “I’ll be back shortly.”
***********************
Joshua had fallen asleep and woke an hour or so later. The first thing he saw was Sandoval and two volunteers standing at the doorway. He sat up, wincing as the two Volunteers entered and grabbed him by his arms. Joshua glanced around frantically, and spotted Andrew exactly where he’d been before.
Andrew stood beside him, “They can’t see me. Only you can. I’m here to stay with you.”
Joshua gasped. Andrew was speaking the truth. Neither Sandoval nor the Volunteers so much as glanced at Andrew or gave any indication that they took any notice of the angel. They merely grabbed Joshua and dragged him unceremoniously out of his cell and down the hall. As promised, Andrew stayed next to him.
“Andrew, please help me.” whispered Joshua.
Andrew’s expression was troubled, “I’m here. But that’s all I can do right now.”
***********************
Monica wandered along the halls of the mothership, curious of what Sandoval’s urgent business could be . . .
Suddenly she heard screams. Running down the corridor, she entered a room where she saw Sandoval, two other Volunteers and the man she had seen before -- Joshua Doors, who lay writhing on the floor.
“Stop!” she exclaimed, and knelt next to him, “What has he done to deserve this treatment? How can you do this?”
Sandoval stared at her a moment, //Definitely naive// “He is an enemy of the companions. He deserves this treatment for his betrayal and his attempt to murder the entire species. Will this be a problem ‘Monica’?”
Monica closed her eyes momentarily in prayer, knowing she could not say how she really felt. If she did, she couldn’t help Sandoval, nor could she have a chance to help Joshua . . “No Agent Sandoval.” She rose to her feet, “Please forgive my outburst. I did not realize his crimes.” The words left a bad taste in her mouth.
Monica followed Sandoval down the corridor, listening the lecture. “If you are going to work with me, you will not interfere with my activities and orders. If you do that then you are worthless to me. Is that understood?”
Monica nodded, “Yes sir, I apologize.”
Sandoval said nothing further on the subject, “Report to the embassy. I’ll be there shortly.”
“Yes sir.” Monica hated having to call him sir.
Sandoval sighed -- was it really worth teaching her? She had a strong sense of compassion -- too strong for her own good.
***********************
Andrew did as promised. He stayed with Joshua every moment of it . . . and pleaded with God for permission to intervene . . to stop this . . .
The Volunteers beat Joshua mercilessly and Andrew began to wonder if perhaps his purpose would be to bring to young man home this time. But they stopped eventually, leaving him unconscious . . . but thankfully alive.
Andrew spoke a prayer, “I know you have your own time but he needs help soon . . and I can’t bear to see anyone treated in this manner and sit by and do nothing. Please let me help him . . .”
Patience
The word echoed through his entire being. And he felt a wave of peace surge over him. If God wanted him to be patient then he’d try to be and trust that God would give him the strength he needed to wait. And hope Joshua would let Him give him the strength he needed to endure what he had to . . .
***********************
Joshua winced as the door slid open and Sandoval walked through. He couldn’t move, couldn’t defend himself, and he couldn’t even bring himself to cry. He knew that the only thing he’d do was scream in about five minutes or less . . . depending on Sandoval’s mood.
Oddly enough, Sandoval didn’t start on him immediately, merely walking around him, watching him. Joshua could see it in Sandoval’s eyes -- the look he’d seen in only a few faces here. Could he possibly be seeing it? He hoped he wasn’t hallucinating. He’d never imagined seeing that look on Sandoval’s face. Sandoval was finally seeing him as a person …
Andrew watched Sandoval too, sitting next to Joshua. He recognized the look as well, and knew exactly how dangerous this was. If Sandoval didn’t want this sense of compassion and pushed it away, Joshua would likely be dead within the hour.
Sandoval sighed heavily, the noise startling Joshua and then spoke. His voice wasn’t friendly, but neither was it the harsh, demanding monotone Joshua had gotten used to . .
“Why don’t you make this easier on all of us, Mr. Doors? I might be able to arrange for you to visit Earth and your friends once before you’re executed if you do.”
“Is that your idea of being friendly, Sandoval?” challenged Joshua.
Sandoval lay a hand on Joshua’s arm, causing him to flinch. His tone became more demanding again, “You will have a day to consider your other alternatives.”
Joshua’s eyes widened in shock and fear as Sandoval motioned a volunteer over, the one whom he’d seen before. The one who’d spoken up for him.
“Escort him to his cell before I change my mind. I have more pressing matters to attend to . . .” Sandoval ordered, then added as an afterthought, “And see that he gets a meal.” He then turned and stode out of the room.
Joshua queried, “What’s going on? What are you going to do to me?” This had to be a trick of some sort . . .
She looked at him compassionately and touched his cheek, “Exactly what Agent Sandoval said. No tricks.” She had a lovely Irish accent.
“Why?”
“Hi Monica.” Andrew spoke up.
“Andrew!” she exclaimed cheerfully.
Joshua jerked in surprise, finding the first person to actually see his ‘angel’. Looking back at Monica he asked, “Who are you? Another angel.”
Monica helped him up, speaking as she did, “Yes. Like Andrew, I’m an angel, sent by God. I’ve been trying to help Agent Sandoval.”
Joshua gaped at her, “Help? Sandoval? Why would God want to help him?” he snorted.
Andrew looked at him disapprovingly, “God loves all His children, whether they love Him or know of Him or not.”
“Then why allow those ‘children’ to hurt other people? Where is His justice? Why allow Sandoval to kill other people, give me a momentary reprieve and save others? God should be consistent and just. And He should care. From what I’ve seen, especially up here, He does nothing to intervene or stop violence. Either God isn’t here or He has an evil side.”
Monica smiled, “God is just and merciful in equal measure. He is able to do that because he’s paid the price with the blood of His son. As for why evil things happen, as Andrew explained, He allows sin because He allows people to have choice, free will. However, he always listens to prayers . . . and in the end He will overcome the evil.”
“But why answer some people’s prayers and not others?”
Andrew answered, “We cannot always understand His plans. But He asks us to not be discouraged and to keep praying and trust Him and His plan.”
“So my torture is supposed to have some noble end?” Joshua’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
“God has allowed it to happen for some reason. Tomorrow things may change.”
“Or tomorrow Sandoval may kill me,” Joshua finished, “How can you say God is loving?”
“Think about it. God is all powerful and all knowing. He knew that we’d mess up and he still created angels and humans anyway . . . I’d say that is real love. He knew everything wrong that every human and angel would do and he still created us anyway . . . gave us free will. And yes, we have the capacity for sin because of that . . . but we also have the capacity to love. If humans didn’t have free will, they would just be programmed, living robots. And robots can’t love. Take God at His word, even if you don’t understand the circumstances, in other words, faith. But faith is a personal choice. One we can’t make for you.”
Joshua nodded slowly, considering. Belief looked like stepping off a cliff blindly without any net to catch you. And blind faith is risky -- a risk he wasn’t sure he’d want to take right now . . .
***********************
Liam rounded the corner, heading away from the computer terminal with the files he needed. The Resistance periodically liked to get the list of new companion employees and he had easiest access to it . . . obviously.
After turning the corner, he ran right into a hallway, a familiar voice echoing down it. He quietly followed the voice and arrived at a cell, a familiar form laying, facing away from the door.
“Joshua?”
Joshua sat up, lightning fast, a strange look on his face.
Looking around, Liam made a split second decision. He slapped the button to eliminate the field, “Come on.” He pulled Joshua to his feet and they began walking toward the portal.
“Liam, Sandoval will be on you in a minute . . . you can’t afford to do this.”
“The damage is already done, so hush and concentrate your energy on moving as fast as possible . . .”
Joshua grunted acknowledgement, not needing further persuasion. His mind was racing:
//”God has allowed it to happen for some reason. Tomorrow things may change.”//
Could God have brought Liam here at this time? Could God have allowed Sandoval to have feelings that at least resembled human so that Joshua would be here rather than in Sandoval’s torture chamber? If Sandoval had tortured him, he wouldn’t have been here to be rescued.
Coincidence after coincidence . . . Or was it really coincidence? Was someone or something else in his life?
Suddenly, enough to jerk Joshua back to reality, Liam stopped. A wave of fear washed over Joshua. Could God be so cruel?
***********************
Sandoval strolled down the corridor. He wasn’t sure he should have allowed Joshua a break, but given what was going thru his head . . . all he wanted to do now was think. He didn’t have the mental energy to torture anyone right now . . . also, the strangely irrational thought had crossed his mind -- what if it were his own son? The son he didn’t know. What if he had hurt his own son . . . who had saved his life . . .
He sighed. More time -- he needed more time. He didn’t know what had gripped him all of a sudden, but he had to know who his son was -- if only to protect him from himself B Agent Sandoval.
Perhaps he could use Joshua . . . if he were in the Resistance as Sandoval believed, maybe he could strike a deal to learn his son’s identity. Surely they could find out, if offered the right price.
He shifted his thoughts again. This wasn’t the reason he had left Joshua alone, nor was it concern for Joshua. But what was it?
Sandoval was brought out of his reverie by an unexpected sight ahead of him. Major Liam Kincaid was half leading, half carrying Joshua Doors away from his Taelon cell.
Sandoval blinked -- this was an unexpected development -- and exactly what he needed to arrest Kincaid. “Major Kincaid, may I ask what you’re doing?”
Liam didn’t blink an eye. “Someone informed me that they were willing to exchange the identity of your son for Mr. Doors freedom. I took the liberty of setting up the meet.”
Sandoval was taken aback, his entire frame of mind doing a 360 degree turn. “I informed no one of that decision. And if there is a trade I will be attending as well.”
“Part of the deal was the lack of your presence at the meeting. The Resistance doesn’t trust you.”
To the surprise of all, Sandoval merely nodded. “Inform me of the result immediately upon your return Kincaid.”
***********************
Joshua lay in a hospital bed at the underground resistance headquarters. Belman had hovered over him since he’d arrived and it was becoming annoying. He was feeling much better physically. Emotionally, he simply felt drained -- for now. For the first 24 hours of his release, he’d slept -- drifting in and out a good bit . . And it had felt sooo good, sleeping in blessed freedom . . .
//Blessed// the word was an exact description. God had done something to save him. Now, that didn't mean Joshua was ready to accept everything or turn over control of his life or any of that. . . but still.
“Hello.” a familiar face had appeared by his side.
“Andrew,” Given how Joshua had spoken to the angel the last time he was surprised to see him and curious as to what he’d say.
“How are you doing?” Andrew asked warmly.
“I’m going to be okay, eventually. Thank you. I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you before.”
Andrew smiled, “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you’re okay.”
“What’s going to happen to Sandoval?” Joshua asked curiously.
“We don’t know. He did allow you to escape but he is still the same person in many ways. He’s not sure what he wants to do or how ‘changed’ he can afford to be -- both because of who he is and what he does. In his job compassion is a dangerous thing. He also refuses to see God as part of the picture . . .” Joshua noticed that Andrew seemed upset by this.
***********************
But the fic is as far as I know, a one of a kind crossover, so, here you go... if you're interested.
angel boy
by Kara B.
Date: 2001
An EFC/Touched By An Angel Story
Rating: PG/PG-13
Archival: TftSA, All others ask before using!
Spoilers: Limbo
Disclaimer: You know the drill. The characters in this story DO NOT belong to me. They belong to whoever owns them -- I'm just borrowing. I DO NOT make any money off this. I do this strictly for fun and personal enjoyment. I promise to return the characters (relatively) unharmed. For the record, I'm just a college student and have absolutely NO money at all so please don't sue me.
***********************
My mother said there’s only one way
Sweet angel boy narrow and straight
Time it has passed teachings they fade
Now her angel boy has gone astray
I’ve held the hand of the devil
Felt his breath on my skin
Dip me into the water wash me again
Can I still be forgiven for all these things
Or have I gone too far now
Have I lost my wings?
I found a priest I spoke my mind
Asked if I’d sinned one too many times
He said my son you’re only a man
Then I said sir you don’t understand
I’ve held the hand of the devil
Felt his breath on my skin
Dip me into the water wash me again
Can I still be forgiven for all these things
Or have I gone too far now
Have I lost my wings?
God help us all for what we have done
We’ve lost our way we can’t find the Son
We make our beds we seal our fate
Is there still time or is it too late
We’ve held the hand of the devil
Felt his breath on our skin
Dip us into the water, wash us again
Can he still be forgiven for all of these things
Or have we gone too far now
Have we lost our wings
Have we lost our wings?
Angel Boy
Tim McGraw
(album Set This Circus Down)
***********************
A Prayer for Spiritual Cleansing
Psalm 51: 1-14
Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.
Behold I was shapen in iniquity: and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
Create me in a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from thy presence and take not thy holy spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
Then will I teach transgressors they ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
Sandoval stalked out of an interrogation room, unknowingly watched by two other beings.
“He doesn’t seem too happy, Tess.”
“Well, Miss Wings, when you take no joy in life, and you don’t know the Father, then life itself can be a pretty miserable existence.”
“The poor man . . .” Monica started, then curiously asked, “What’s in there Tess?”
“Because of his own state of misery, he takes pleasure in inflicting it on others . . .” Tess said, disapproval clouding her voice. As if on cue, two Volunteers dragged a half-conscious man from the room.
Monica gasped, wincing in sympathy at the man’s obvious pain. “Who is he?”
“That’s Joshua Doors.” Tess said.
“Is he my assignment? Is he the one I’m supposed to help?”
“No Miss Wings, God already has him taken care of. Your assignment is Agent Sandoval.”
Monica looked at Tess in disbelief, “But Tess . . . how can I help a man like that? He seems . . . unreachable.”
“Now wait just a minute. You know that no one is beyond the Father’s help.”
“Does he have any family?” Monica asked curiously.
“No,” Tess paused, “None that he knows of anyway,”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Miss Wings, you’re about to ‘volunteer’ to find out.”
“What will you be doing Tess?”
“Going for a walk.”
***********************
Joshua moaned as he sat up. He wanted out of this B how didn’t matter to him anymore. Sandoval was merciless. Joshua had begged him . . . was disgusted with himself for doing so . . but had begged Sandoval to ease up . . kill him . .stop . . . But all that Sandoval would do was to look at him with total disdain.
Once, when Sandoval had released him, and he’d collapsed on the floor, Sandoval had leaned over to pull him to his feet. Joshua had grabbed his arm, and said hoarsely, “Please. What do you want from me?”
Sandoval had merely shaken off his hand, not even looking at it, or him. Then he turned on his heel and left, motioning the Volunteers to return him to his cell where Joshua fell into a, for once, dreamless sleep, undisturbed by the nightmares of pain, or the peacefully misleading dreams of hope and freedom . . .
The dreams of escape were the worst. More than once he had awoken, thinking he was back at home, only to find that he wasn’t.
And in a cruel twist, the cell Sandoval had placed him in afforded a magnificent view of Earth. Joshua had no doubt that it was intentional -- one of the many ways to torture the prisoners -- make them lose hope. So close, but so far away . . .
***********************
Liam Kincaid walked through the park. He found it calmed him, especially after a long day. Sandoval had been on his case all day long for some reason. It hurt Liam’s feelings to be angry with his father for being the way he was but neither could he excuse it. And he was only fooling himself if he tried to believe that Sandoval would change if he knew the truth. Part of him wanted to just go ahead and tell him . . . wondering what he’d say. Another part dreaded it, knowing that after that nothing could ever be the same again.
Liam leaned back on a bench, and watched the sunset.
“Beautiful isn’t it?” a voice asked.
Liam turned to find that a woman had taken the seat next to him on the bench. “Yeah, it is.”
“I always enjoy taking a walk through the park to enjoy the sunset. It’s very relaxing after a long hard day. Do you do this often, Major Kincaid?”
“When I get the chance. Today’s been especially rough.” He gave her an odd look, “Do you work at the embassy? How did you know who I am?”
The woman smiled, “My name is Tess. I was just recently hired to watch over and take care of the gardens here. And as for who you are, just about everyone knows who Da’an’s protector is.”
***********************
Joshua woke up in his Taelon cell and the first thing he saw, or thought he saw anyway, was a glowing man. He jerked up to a sitting position.
“Don’t be afraid.” the man said, “I’m not here to hurt you.”
“Who are you?” Joshua asked, wondering what kind of Taelon trick this could be.
“This isn’t a trick and I know this is going to be hard for you to believe. My name is Andrew and I’m an angel, sent by God.”
Joshua just gaped at him, finally muttering, “I must be going crazy . . .”
“You aren’t.” Andrew tried to assure him, “This is real.” He looked slightly puzzled, “Why can’t you believe?”
“Well, for one thing, I’ve spent the last few weeks in Sandoval’s private hell. So why now? Why not weeks ago?”
“God does things in His own time and He has His own reasons for them. I don’t even know why I’m here. I do know that He directed me to be here.”
“So you’re saying that I was meant to spend the last few weeks getting the crap kicked out of me, because God wanted that to happen? What kind of God would do that?”
Andrew sighed, “You have no idea how often I’ve had someone ask that B if God is good, why do bad things happen. The fact of the matter is that God gave man free will and men don’t always make the choices God would want them too. I don’t know what God’s plans for you are. If you want to know -- ask Him. I can’t guarantee you’ll get the answer you want or even an answer, but he’s the only one qualified to give it. The one thing I do know is that God didn’t do this to you. He loves you.” Andrew paused, “I know that isn’t the answer you wanted, but that’s all I can give.”
“Okay,” Joshua said, “Let’s suppose I do believe you. Why are you here? Are you here to get me out?”
“For now, I’m here to stay with you. I can’t get you out.”
“Why not? If you’re really an angel . . .” Joshua trailed off.
Andrew said softly, “It doesn’t work like that. God has a plan.”
Joshua glared at him, “You say God loves me, but why am I still here? You do know that eventually the Taelons are going to kill me, don’t you? And to be perfectly honest, I don’t really want to die. It doesn’t strike me as a very pleasant experience.”
“It’s not as bad as you think, if you’ve accepted Him.”
“And if I haven’t?” Joshua challenged.
“Then dying is the least of your worries.”
“Great.”
“Trust Him.”
“I don’t know if I can.” Joshua made a point of laying back and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep.
Andrew sighed and sat back, his essence hurting for the lost man before him, but content to do as the Lord had commanded.
***********************
Sandoval entered his office where the new volunteer was waiting. He personally chose a few volunteers to work strictly with him, ones he felt could be trusted. It was the most dangerous job for a Volunteer to get -- cross Sandoval once and you were dead or at least you’d wish you were. However, it could also be very rewarding. Sandoval afforded his volunteers a great deal of power and authority to use that power.
When he got to his office he found the Volunteer walking around, inspecting his office. Good -- most volunteer leaders would have had a fit but Sandoval liked curious ones -- they were good at asking questions without seeming to be spies.
He cleared his throat and the woman jumped.
“Hello Agent Sandoval.” she said in an Irish accent that reminded him of Beckett. He noticed that though he had startled her, her voice sounded cheerful and her demeanor -- unafraid. That was good too.
He didn’t bother with pleasantries, “If you’re going to work with me . . .” Sandoval trailed off, not knowing her name.
“Monica.” she supplied.
“Monica,” he repeated, “Then you’ll have to learn to listen well and keep secrets. I don’t have problems -- if you become one, you’ll be eliminated.” Let’s see how she handled that one.
“Oh, I’m very good at listening and keeping secrets. And I won’t be a problem at all.” she said sweetly.
Sandoval frowned. She had no idea what she was getting into. She was too naive. But she’d learn . . . or die. He could live with it either way. “Come on. I’ll show you where you’ll be working.”
She smiled and followed. No, she had no clue.
***********************
After showing her around the embassy, Sandoval flew her up to the mothership to show her around there . . . On the way, while another Volunteer piloted, she tried to strike up a conversation. “So, Agent Sandoval, have you got any family?”
He was vaguely surprised. Not many people had ever taken a personal interest in him. Not many dared . . .
“No.” he said. A short reply, not inviting further conversation, but surprisingly it came.
“Family is very important . . . What about your parents?”
Suddenly, his CVI took over, bringing a memory to the forefront of his mind . . . a memory from when he was only four years old.
He had been so very quiet about it, thought he was being pretty clever. Had snuck so quietly into the room . . . he reached in and . . .
“What are you doing Ron?” asked his mother.
His mother always knew when he was doing something he shouldn’t. This time she wasn’t angry, merely amused. He pulled the cookie out of the cookie jar, thinking for how to explain this . . . “I was getting a cookie for you . . .” He held it out.
She graced him with a smile, “Well, I don’t really want one, Ronnie.” she ruffled his hair.
He looked up at her with puppy dog eyes, “Then can I have it mommy?” He quickly took a bite.
His mother scooped him up, laughing, “Ron! I love you so much, my little angel boy.”
Sandoval reveled in the warmth of her hug.
“Agent Sandoval? Are you alright?” He was jolted back to reality by Monica’s voice.
“I’m fine.” he said curtly. His global beeped as they landed on the mothership and he excused himself, knowing what it was, “I’ll be back shortly.”
***********************
Joshua had fallen asleep and woke an hour or so later. The first thing he saw was Sandoval and two volunteers standing at the doorway. He sat up, wincing as the two Volunteers entered and grabbed him by his arms. Joshua glanced around frantically, and spotted Andrew exactly where he’d been before.
Andrew stood beside him, “They can’t see me. Only you can. I’m here to stay with you.”
Joshua gasped. Andrew was speaking the truth. Neither Sandoval nor the Volunteers so much as glanced at Andrew or gave any indication that they took any notice of the angel. They merely grabbed Joshua and dragged him unceremoniously out of his cell and down the hall. As promised, Andrew stayed next to him.
“Andrew, please help me.” whispered Joshua.
Andrew’s expression was troubled, “I’m here. But that’s all I can do right now.”
***********************
Monica wandered along the halls of the mothership, curious of what Sandoval’s urgent business could be . . .
Suddenly she heard screams. Running down the corridor, she entered a room where she saw Sandoval, two other Volunteers and the man she had seen before -- Joshua Doors, who lay writhing on the floor.
“Stop!” she exclaimed, and knelt next to him, “What has he done to deserve this treatment? How can you do this?”
Sandoval stared at her a moment, //Definitely naive// “He is an enemy of the companions. He deserves this treatment for his betrayal and his attempt to murder the entire species. Will this be a problem ‘Monica’?”
Monica closed her eyes momentarily in prayer, knowing she could not say how she really felt. If she did, she couldn’t help Sandoval, nor could she have a chance to help Joshua . . “No Agent Sandoval.” She rose to her feet, “Please forgive my outburst. I did not realize his crimes.” The words left a bad taste in her mouth.
Monica followed Sandoval down the corridor, listening the lecture. “If you are going to work with me, you will not interfere with my activities and orders. If you do that then you are worthless to me. Is that understood?”
Monica nodded, “Yes sir, I apologize.”
Sandoval said nothing further on the subject, “Report to the embassy. I’ll be there shortly.”
“Yes sir.” Monica hated having to call him sir.
Sandoval sighed -- was it really worth teaching her? She had a strong sense of compassion -- too strong for her own good.
***********************
Andrew did as promised. He stayed with Joshua every moment of it . . . and pleaded with God for permission to intervene . . to stop this . . .
The Volunteers beat Joshua mercilessly and Andrew began to wonder if perhaps his purpose would be to bring to young man home this time. But they stopped eventually, leaving him unconscious . . . but thankfully alive.
Andrew spoke a prayer, “I know you have your own time but he needs help soon . . and I can’t bear to see anyone treated in this manner and sit by and do nothing. Please let me help him . . .”
Patience
The word echoed through his entire being. And he felt a wave of peace surge over him. If God wanted him to be patient then he’d try to be and trust that God would give him the strength he needed to wait. And hope Joshua would let Him give him the strength he needed to endure what he had to . . .
***********************
Joshua winced as the door slid open and Sandoval walked through. He couldn’t move, couldn’t defend himself, and he couldn’t even bring himself to cry. He knew that the only thing he’d do was scream in about five minutes or less . . . depending on Sandoval’s mood.
Oddly enough, Sandoval didn’t start on him immediately, merely walking around him, watching him. Joshua could see it in Sandoval’s eyes -- the look he’d seen in only a few faces here. Could he possibly be seeing it? He hoped he wasn’t hallucinating. He’d never imagined seeing that look on Sandoval’s face. Sandoval was finally seeing him as a person …
Andrew watched Sandoval too, sitting next to Joshua. He recognized the look as well, and knew exactly how dangerous this was. If Sandoval didn’t want this sense of compassion and pushed it away, Joshua would likely be dead within the hour.
Sandoval sighed heavily, the noise startling Joshua and then spoke. His voice wasn’t friendly, but neither was it the harsh, demanding monotone Joshua had gotten used to . .
“Why don’t you make this easier on all of us, Mr. Doors? I might be able to arrange for you to visit Earth and your friends once before you’re executed if you do.”
“Is that your idea of being friendly, Sandoval?” challenged Joshua.
Sandoval lay a hand on Joshua’s arm, causing him to flinch. His tone became more demanding again, “You will have a day to consider your other alternatives.”
Joshua’s eyes widened in shock and fear as Sandoval motioned a volunteer over, the one whom he’d seen before. The one who’d spoken up for him.
“Escort him to his cell before I change my mind. I have more pressing matters to attend to . . .” Sandoval ordered, then added as an afterthought, “And see that he gets a meal.” He then turned and stode out of the room.
Joshua queried, “What’s going on? What are you going to do to me?” This had to be a trick of some sort . . .
She looked at him compassionately and touched his cheek, “Exactly what Agent Sandoval said. No tricks.” She had a lovely Irish accent.
“Why?”
“Hi Monica.” Andrew spoke up.
“Andrew!” she exclaimed cheerfully.
Joshua jerked in surprise, finding the first person to actually see his ‘angel’. Looking back at Monica he asked, “Who are you? Another angel.”
Monica helped him up, speaking as she did, “Yes. Like Andrew, I’m an angel, sent by God. I’ve been trying to help Agent Sandoval.”
Joshua gaped at her, “Help? Sandoval? Why would God want to help him?” he snorted.
Andrew looked at him disapprovingly, “God loves all His children, whether they love Him or know of Him or not.”
“Then why allow those ‘children’ to hurt other people? Where is His justice? Why allow Sandoval to kill other people, give me a momentary reprieve and save others? God should be consistent and just. And He should care. From what I’ve seen, especially up here, He does nothing to intervene or stop violence. Either God isn’t here or He has an evil side.”
Monica smiled, “God is just and merciful in equal measure. He is able to do that because he’s paid the price with the blood of His son. As for why evil things happen, as Andrew explained, He allows sin because He allows people to have choice, free will. However, he always listens to prayers . . . and in the end He will overcome the evil.”
“But why answer some people’s prayers and not others?”
Andrew answered, “We cannot always understand His plans. But He asks us to not be discouraged and to keep praying and trust Him and His plan.”
“So my torture is supposed to have some noble end?” Joshua’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
“God has allowed it to happen for some reason. Tomorrow things may change.”
“Or tomorrow Sandoval may kill me,” Joshua finished, “How can you say God is loving?”
“Think about it. God is all powerful and all knowing. He knew that we’d mess up and he still created angels and humans anyway . . . I’d say that is real love. He knew everything wrong that every human and angel would do and he still created us anyway . . . gave us free will. And yes, we have the capacity for sin because of that . . . but we also have the capacity to love. If humans didn’t have free will, they would just be programmed, living robots. And robots can’t love. Take God at His word, even if you don’t understand the circumstances, in other words, faith. But faith is a personal choice. One we can’t make for you.”
Joshua nodded slowly, considering. Belief looked like stepping off a cliff blindly without any net to catch you. And blind faith is risky -- a risk he wasn’t sure he’d want to take right now . . .
***********************
Liam rounded the corner, heading away from the computer terminal with the files he needed. The Resistance periodically liked to get the list of new companion employees and he had easiest access to it . . . obviously.
After turning the corner, he ran right into a hallway, a familiar voice echoing down it. He quietly followed the voice and arrived at a cell, a familiar form laying, facing away from the door.
“Joshua?”
Joshua sat up, lightning fast, a strange look on his face.
Looking around, Liam made a split second decision. He slapped the button to eliminate the field, “Come on.” He pulled Joshua to his feet and they began walking toward the portal.
“Liam, Sandoval will be on you in a minute . . . you can’t afford to do this.”
“The damage is already done, so hush and concentrate your energy on moving as fast as possible . . .”
Joshua grunted acknowledgement, not needing further persuasion. His mind was racing:
//”God has allowed it to happen for some reason. Tomorrow things may change.”//
Could God have brought Liam here at this time? Could God have allowed Sandoval to have feelings that at least resembled human so that Joshua would be here rather than in Sandoval’s torture chamber? If Sandoval had tortured him, he wouldn’t have been here to be rescued.
Coincidence after coincidence . . . Or was it really coincidence? Was someone or something else in his life?
Suddenly, enough to jerk Joshua back to reality, Liam stopped. A wave of fear washed over Joshua. Could God be so cruel?
***********************
Sandoval strolled down the corridor. He wasn’t sure he should have allowed Joshua a break, but given what was going thru his head . . . all he wanted to do now was think. He didn’t have the mental energy to torture anyone right now . . . also, the strangely irrational thought had crossed his mind -- what if it were his own son? The son he didn’t know. What if he had hurt his own son . . . who had saved his life . . .
He sighed. More time -- he needed more time. He didn’t know what had gripped him all of a sudden, but he had to know who his son was -- if only to protect him from himself B Agent Sandoval.
Perhaps he could use Joshua . . . if he were in the Resistance as Sandoval believed, maybe he could strike a deal to learn his son’s identity. Surely they could find out, if offered the right price.
He shifted his thoughts again. This wasn’t the reason he had left Joshua alone, nor was it concern for Joshua. But what was it?
Sandoval was brought out of his reverie by an unexpected sight ahead of him. Major Liam Kincaid was half leading, half carrying Joshua Doors away from his Taelon cell.
Sandoval blinked -- this was an unexpected development -- and exactly what he needed to arrest Kincaid. “Major Kincaid, may I ask what you’re doing?”
Liam didn’t blink an eye. “Someone informed me that they were willing to exchange the identity of your son for Mr. Doors freedom. I took the liberty of setting up the meet.”
Sandoval was taken aback, his entire frame of mind doing a 360 degree turn. “I informed no one of that decision. And if there is a trade I will be attending as well.”
“Part of the deal was the lack of your presence at the meeting. The Resistance doesn’t trust you.”
To the surprise of all, Sandoval merely nodded. “Inform me of the result immediately upon your return Kincaid.”
***********************
Joshua lay in a hospital bed at the underground resistance headquarters. Belman had hovered over him since he’d arrived and it was becoming annoying. He was feeling much better physically. Emotionally, he simply felt drained -- for now. For the first 24 hours of his release, he’d slept -- drifting in and out a good bit . . And it had felt sooo good, sleeping in blessed freedom . . .
//Blessed// the word was an exact description. God had done something to save him. Now, that didn't mean Joshua was ready to accept everything or turn over control of his life or any of that. . . but still.
“Hello.” a familiar face had appeared by his side.
“Andrew,” Given how Joshua had spoken to the angel the last time he was surprised to see him and curious as to what he’d say.
“How are you doing?” Andrew asked warmly.
“I’m going to be okay, eventually. Thank you. I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you before.”
Andrew smiled, “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you’re okay.”
“What’s going to happen to Sandoval?” Joshua asked curiously.
“We don’t know. He did allow you to escape but he is still the same person in many ways. He’s not sure what he wants to do or how ‘changed’ he can afford to be -- both because of who he is and what he does. In his job compassion is a dangerous thing. He also refuses to see God as part of the picture . . .” Joshua noticed that Andrew seemed upset by this.
***********************
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